One thing I've noticed about resolutions (particularly those of the New Years variety) is that they very rarely involve goals that are novel or surprising. "Exercise? I'd never thought of it! Writing in my journal? How innovative..." As with most things in life, the issue is not the what but the how. We're not really figuring out what to do in life per se; it's more about how we will go about accomplishing that overarching goal.
In short, it's all about being consistent.
As a perfectionist, this is a particularly difficult concept for me to grasp. Why bother doing anything if I can't devote every iota of energy I possess to the task at hand? This line of thinking is, of course, problematic because I rarely have the time or fortitude to do everything as well—nay, as perfectly—as I would like. But I'm trying to learn that that's okay.
So here, world, is my letting go of perfection. Unable to write a detailed description about my first week back in classes, I am offering you interesting tidbits and morsels. To start us off, a brief introduction to this post's title. I remember learning about this concept in 11th grade chemistry. To be totally honest, it's about the only thing I remember from 11th grade chemistry.
entropy
1. A measure of the disorder or randomness in a closed system.
2. A measure of the loss of information in a transmitted message.
3. A quantitative measure of the amount of thermal energy not available to do work.
4. The tendency for all matter and energy in the universe to evolve toward a state of inert uniformity.
5. Inevitable and steady deterioration of a system or society. *Note: I hope this particular facet of the definition is not relevant to my life.
Take that how you will. Now, onto my life's entropy.
Monday I keep thinking I'm going to find some mysterious, attractive boy in one of my classes. My first sign that I was wrong about all of this was noting that there is at least one guy in each of my classes that has a 70's style (full on Starsky and Hutch) mustache. Not acceptable.
Additionally, I learned that my syllabus for Greek & Roman Mythology would cost me $6. Yes, the syllabus. Also not acceptable.
Tuesday Yet another resolution of consistency is to watch all of the weekly devotionals this semester. Devotional Quote of the Week: "Whate'er thou art, act well thy part."
Wednesday Opened my fortune cookie to find this little nugget of wisdom: "YOU WILL MAKE MANY CHANGES BEFORE HAPPILY SETTLING." Thanks for nothing, Panda Express.
Thursday As the long and arduous process of applying to graduate school continues, I have finalized a few things. Schools currently on the docket for receiving applications from me: Indiana University, Pennsylvania State, University of Massachusetts, University of Toronto, Columbia, and BYU.
Friday I spent five hours in a room full of 180 girls for this semester's Women's Chorus retreat. At the end of the night, Sister Applonie asked us each to quickly jot something down for the Book of Wisdom. Within thirty seconds, I had composed the following haiku:
harmony is ours
infinitude is ours, dear
whisper, then shout, truth
Saturday Learned how to make homemade sushi rolls. I am quite positive that cooking needs to become a bigger part of my life.
Sunday An excerpt from my notes taken during church: "We are only limited by what we choose to become. Start learning who I am today; it's not a passive process. Part of knowing who I am is knowing what I am capable of. Assume that I'm capable of all the work the Father asks of me—otherwise, he wouldn't expect it of me! He knows what I can handle even better than I do. He knows what I can become, and He sees me in terms of my potential."
... what to make of all this is an entirely different story. These are just details in the fabric.
